How To Build Confidence With Women

The #1 thing women find attractive is a man with confidence. I know I am going to get several male doubters and many eye rolls for making that statement, but believe it or not it’s true.

confidence When I created my program How To Become A Man Women Want, that walks men through the steps of exactly how to build confidence with women, I polled hundreds of women on this exact topic and discovered that confidence was the #1 characteristic women found attractive in a man.  Looks were way down on the list.

The question is why? Why is confidence so attractive to women? What is it about a confident man that makes us so turned on. Well I’ll tell you.

  1. A confident man doesn’t need a woman, he wants a woman. Men who are needy are very unattractive and women can instantly feel it when a man is needy.
  2. A confident man is proud of who he is and understands his value.  If you don’t think your are good enough how will she ever think it.
  3. A confident man is comfortable at all times.  When you interact with a woman and you get into your head (get uncomfortable) you stop yourself from connecting to a woman. How can a woman be into you if she is unable to feel a connection.
  4. A confident man makes a woman feel safe and secure.
  5. A confident man is a MASCULINE MAN.  If you approach a woman without confidence, expecting her to step into the dominant male role and lead the approach, she will feel more masculine than you and all attraction will be lost. Women want to feel feminine not masculine. The more feminine you can allow a woman to feel the more attracted to you she will be.

There are a million more reasons why confidence is #1 most attractive characteristic to women. So as a man, how can you build this confidence? How do you even start?  Well lucky for you, I was bored while in London yesterday because I have the answers to both those questions right here 🙂

Yesterday, I picked up famous women’s magazine called Glamor.  It’s a great way for me to keep in touch with recent female trends, wants and desires.  (TIP: To get better insight into women, what they want and what they think go pick up a few women’s mags)

There was a great article in the issue, called Your Get-Confident Kick Start  written by Vicki Norton. The article teaches readers how to build confidence. Even though this a

rticle was targeted at women, the lessons Vicki provides apply to men as well.  In fact, a lot of the advice is quite similar to the advice I give my private coaching clients.

I wanted to share the highlights with you. Each of these little tips are easy to absorb and a bit more challenging to apply BUT if you do I guarantee that within 3 months time you will have the confidence every woman is attracted to.

1. “People who ooze confidence, are prepared to take a risk and do their best. It’s OK to acknowledge that you don’t feel confident all the time, but if you decide to do all the things you want to do anyway, your confidence will grow” – Dr. Cecilia d’Felice

2. “Remember people who appear to be 100% confident are often over compensating for insecurities and putting up a protective facade. To gain some ground, put yourself out there and into situations where you might initially feel out of your comfort zone – then you’ll realize you can change – Dr. Anna Symonds

3. “We know your lack of confidence is all your mother/father/brother/teaches/boss/ex’s fault but get over it. By blaming them for you inadequacies you allow other people to control your destiny. To move forward and be the person you want to be, the first lesson is that shyness and low self esteem are optional, not fixed.” – Dr. James

4. Practice, practice, practice! According to Dr Russ Harris there are 5 factors leading to low self confidence: harsh self judgement, excessive expectations of yourself, preoccupation with fear and anxiety, lack of skills, inadequate experience. Practicing your skills (picking up, talking to or approaching women) and gaining experience are essential.

5. Feel the fear. “The golden rule for developing genuine confidence is this: the actions of confidence come first, the feelings come later” – Dr. Harris

6. Snap out of it. “Realize that everyone is so busy worrying about themselves, they’re just not that interested in how you’re coming across” – Dr. Symonds

7. “Take it step by step. Set goals and split them up into manageable stages” – Dr. d’Felice

These 7 tips are solid start for you to build confidence with women.

Need help getting started? Don’t know what to do first? Work with me and get yourself on the right track with women. Together we will help you discover your points of attraction, how to quickly access them and use them to attract and seduce women.

Discover how to be the confident man you have always wanted to be. A man that can approach, attract and talk to any women you want. Click here to find out more now!

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  1. pramodh // May 4, 2011 at 8:55 am

    very nice research .

    • pramodh // May 4, 2011 at 8:57 am

      very informative research .

  2. James F // May 4, 2011 at 11:49 am

    Hi Marni,

    Thanks again for invaluable advice, this is something I have been recently working to improve. A really good point you make is that lack of confidence is always blamed on others from the past and indeed that’s what I have done. I’ve used stuff like it’s the way I was treated at School/my Mother was smothering and overprotective of me as a child etc, but now I have full independence from both of those factors and so really there is very little to stop me from gaining a lot more self confidence. I realise that I need to be a stronger person than I have been in the past and now I am starting (albeit with slow steps) to rectify this.

    So thanks once again for invaluable advice,



  3. AB // May 4, 2011 at 12:52 pm

    Nice try, kiddo. But it’s spelled “Glamour” over there, yes? 😉

    Great piece, Marni. Thanks for guiding us through the London fog.

    • Marni // May 4, 2011 at 12:58 pm

      I know. I had it as that at first then change it last minute. I’m from Canada so I should have stuck to my routes 😉

  4. Montreal City // May 4, 2011 at 6:18 pm

    Women want to be approached by
    confident men.This means approaching without any apprehension,fear,shyness
    or sense that you’re intimidated by
    their “beauty”.You must lead at all
    times…the woman’s role is just to
    be “there”.

    Confidence alone will not result in any
    success.You also need to be funny,quick-
    witted…with a disarming smile/manner.
    This is a tall order that most men cannot
    fill.A defeatist attitude accompanied by
    low self-esteem is what dooms a lot of men.

  5. Christina // May 4, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    Great advice! I think people- both male and female- tend to underestimate the importance of confidence in being attractive to the opposite sex. And the great thing about it, is that it’s something anyone can build, with a little bit of work.

  6. Bruce // May 4, 2011 at 10:34 pm

    Often the confidence vibe comes from simply ‘doing what has to be done’… walking the walk even though ones knees are shaking and you don’t quite know what to do next… so you keep on moving. Next thing you know, it’s over, you’re still standing and everyone around you goes “wow, you’re so solid, so confident”. Sometimes more of an accident than real confidence. Courage is simply facing the situation without hesitation.
    LEARNING that lesson has served to increase my ‘confidence’ quotient higher both internally and externally. 😉

  7. Steven // June 1, 2011 at 4:01 pm

    Nice bit of inspirational commentary Marni, Thanks! First time visiting your site thanks to a David Wygant email. I’ll be sure to peruse more in the future for these bits of “Marni’s Magic”….


    • Marni // June 1, 2011 at 7:19 pm

      Thanks Steven! Love that phrase, Marni Magic. I think it will be my new thing 🙂

  8. Steve // June 28, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    I am getting to like this site more and more, I have had trouble understanding why a woman finds a confident man so attractive. I have heard things like “he is more likely to be a strong man and hence a good provider, more alpha etc”. But it is so simple, “a man who wants a woman and does not need a woman” She can only be truly chosen if the guy has options! Thanks Marni

  9. Carlo // February 12, 2012 at 9:05 pm

    I like the article, I found it very helpful with my confidence with women.

  10. Carlo // February 21, 2012 at 8:43 am

    Awesome article… I found it very helpful.

  11. Hailu // February 29, 2012 at 4:34 am

    Hi marni,

    Thank you so much for this valuable advise.

    • Marni Wing Girl // March 6, 2012 at 2:51 am

      Glad you liked it Hailu

  12. antonio // August 9, 2012 at 2:28 am

    This is a good read !

    • Marni Wing Girl // August 13, 2012 at 9:44 am

      Glad you like it Antonio 🙂

  13. Stevie // May 13, 2013 at 2:53 am

    She should change the title of this Article to how to trick
    women to fuck any man! women will always be a sex toy
    Until they to read us better, cause we’re great lairs

  14. Bellaisa Filippis // February 3, 2015 at 4:54 pm

    Number 3 is a really good point! So many guys have been shut down by people, like their ex or even just girls they had a crush on, and their confidence suffers for it. Why let them have any more control over your life than they already have?