How To Figure Out Your Values

The more you know about you, the more authentic and real you can be.

Being authentic and real happens once you open up and start seeing others around you as different instead of wrong. The more that you get to know yourself, the more understanding and accepting you can be of others differences and the easier it will be to get results.

There are some questions below that are going to help you discover how you think, feel and what your core values are.

They aren’t tough questions, or meant to trick you. They are actually very easy questions about a great topic that you are very familiar with, YOU.

The questions were also developed to help you discover where you are and where you want to go in your life and with women.

Please take your time and really think about these answers. Again, they are for you. Not for anyone else. So really put some thought into them most importantly

Have Fun as you learn more about yourself that will enable you to have better perspective and more meaningful relationships with others.

Start Here:


  1. Answer questions in their correct order. If you feel you need more time to think about a question, you are free to pause and think about what you want to write.
  2. Be real with yourself. No one is judging you and no one will ever see these answers.

Discover Your Values

  1. Look forward 20 years – you are attending a function where someone is giving a speech about YOU! What would you want them to say?
  2. If time and resources were not a concern, describe the things you long to do.
  3. How would you define a true leader? What are the qualities this leader embodies?
  4. If you knew that you could not fail at what you really wanted to do, what would that be?
  5. Think about two or three people you know who really inspire you. Who are they and what about them is inspiring?
  6. What’s missing in your personal and professional life? What would make your personal and work life more fulfilling?
  7. What are the biggest changes in your personal life and with women you want to make over:

a.) The next 3 Years?

b.) The next 3 Months

  1. What activities have meaning and purpose for you?
  2. What are your biggest personal roadblocks to your personal and professional success?
  3. What is your commitment to eliminating these constraints?
  4. Of the things you start, what is the percentage of things you finish?
  5. What are you most satisfied with in your work and personal life right now? What are you least satisfied with in your work and personal life right now?
  6. What are your 3 greatest accomplishments or achievements up to today?
  7. What is the hardest thing in your life that you’ve had to:

    a) Overcome?
    b) Accept?

  8. What two steps could you immediately take that would make the biggest difference in your current situation (in any area of your life)?
  9. What do you believe in? Yourself, spiritually, God? Explain how and why:
  10. What kinds of things in your current and previous workplace environments drive you crazy? Your dating life? What else in life drives you crazy? (Really allow yourself to go to town and “bitch” here J).
  11. What, in your personal and/or dating life, would you change, if you could wave a magic wand?


Owning Your Values

So now that you have filled out all these questions, what are you supposed to do with the answers?

The first thing you should do is read them. Read them, add to them and tweak them. See what you have written and get to know your strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, wants and needs.

NOTE: I guarantee each time you read it you will have something to add to it and you will read it differently. In fact you will feel different as well. You will have more confidence, more strength and a deeper understanding of yourself.

I want to you to go through your responses and start to look for your personal core values.

They will be sprinkled throughout the document and once you learn how to see them you will pick them out instantly.

How To Identify Values

For example:

Answer to question #16:

It drives me crazy when people waste their time having small talk with others in the office. It would be better if people did their work and then socialized after, I would like that.

Values: If you look at this answer you will see a core value is “I value a work hard, play hard mentality. Having a clear line between work and play.”

Go back to each question, look at your response and see the deeper core value within your response.

You will find out very interesting things about what you value and don’t value.

Use this deeper understanding of yourself to also recognize that others around you have different values than you. It will help you not get so angry with others but have a deeper understanding for their actions.

What Are Personal Values?

Personal Values provide an internal reference for what is good, beneficial, important, useful, beautiful, desirable, constructive, etc. Values generate behavior and help solve common human problems for survival by comparative rankings of value; the results of which provide answers to questions of why people do what they do and in what order they choose to do them.

The Importance of Clearly Defining Your Core Values

Defining our values gives us purpose. When you don’t know or you haven’t clearly defined your values, you end up drifting along in life. Instead of basing your decisions on an internal compass, you make choices based on circumstances and social pressures. You end up trying to fulfill other people’s expectations instead of your own. And before you know it, life has passed you by and you haven’t even started to live. Trying to be someone else and living without core values is downright exhausting and leaves you feeling empty and shiftless. Conversely, living a life in line with your core values brings purpose, direction, happiness, and wholeness.

Defining our values prevents you from making bad choices. Perhaps you have a vague idea about what you value. But if you haven’t clearly defined your values, you can end up making choices that conflict with them. And when your actions conflict with your values, the result is unhappiness and frustration.

Defining our values gives us confidence.
I’ve noticed that when I take the time to really think and meditate upon what I value and then write those things down, I’m more likely to have the courage and confidence to make choices based on those values. There’s something about actually writing down your values that makes you more committed to living them.

Defining our values makes life simpler. When you’re sure of your core values, decision-making becomes much much simpler. When faced with a choice, you simply ask yourself: “Does this action align with my values?” If it does, you do it. If it doesn’t, you don’t. Instead of fretting over what’s the best thing do to, and standing shilly-shally in times of crisis, you simply let your internal compass guide you.

Overall having an understanding of your core personal values will help you attract women, date women, seduce women, get a great woman and have a strong relationship. Why? Because it helps you really understand yourself so that you can:

  1. Be more open to others (especially women)
  2. Act less guarded and defensive
  3. Not emotionally react when you feel your ego gets bruised
  4. Be more empathetic to others who have different values then you
  5. Not be so angry or frustrated with others
  6. Be your authentic real self
  7. Have a strong character that women are instantly attracted too!

Only a man with a strong sense of his core personal values and a man who can truly put his most authentic self forward can generate the behaviors that attract women.


More Articles