A Lesson In Re-Framing; How To Eliminate Negative Thoughts

Have I ever told you about re-framing??

I’m sure you’ve heard of it before, but I want to talk about in terms of attraction, approaching and dating because it’s super important.

I’ll tell you a little story first and then I’ll explain why re-framing is important AND how to do it!

As I told you last week, I’m in Canada (Toronto) for a dating conference.

While I’m here, I’m also doing a few media appearances.

Something you know I LOVE doing!!!

Yesterday, the day started off with a 6 am wake up call so that I could be at Global’s morning show in time for my 7:45 appearance.

When I got there, they asked me if they could bump me to the National morning show and be on at 9 am instead of 7:45 to which I said “Uh… YEAH”.  National is always better than local!

So I waited around till 9:10 and then they put me on for my segment which you can watch here if you like:

To be honest, I felt no energy from the hosts of the show and I walked away from that interview feeling down about it. For a second, I thought “I suck. They didn’t like me and that was a horrible interview. I don’t even know what I said.”I really did.  I have insecurities too!

I do a lot of interviews and that one just didn’t feel right to me. Listen, it’s bound to happen and you can’t knock every interview (or every date or approach) out of the park.

But here is where I’m going to teach you about re-framing. Something that has taken me a good effort to learn for myself…

But now that I know how to do it, it’s super easy AND a life saver. After giving myself a 1-2 minute pity party about the interview, I said to myself  “what can I learn from this and where is the positive in it?

“I realized the positive was that I still was on the national morning show and I tried my best. It’s not always going to be amazing and inspiring for people. But I tried my hardest

Hell, at least I showed up right??

Plus, I looked good 😉 Ha.

The thing is that I could have let that 1, 2-minute interview ruin my day and totally alter my perception of myself.

This warped perception plus negative nelly behavior also could have totally ruined my other interviews I had that day… Which turned out to be awesome!

I did a couple more shows at Sirius XM that were so fun and each of them asked me to come back next time I was in town.

If I hadn’t been active in re-framing the way that I thought about the 1st situation AND about myself, I could have totally sabotaged those 2 experiences.

Here is the deal with re-framing. When you re-frame how you THINK and TALK about yourself, it completely changes the energy you give off to others…


It also changes how people see you.

For example in dating.

If in your head you think “this is gonna be like every other date I have. We’re gonna go out, have a good time but then I’ll never hear from them again.” Then that’s what’s going to happen because you are projecting that.

Plus, without knowing, you may even say things to encourage that response.

All re-framing takes is for you to call attention to the fact that you are going down a negative thinking path and then actively re-framing your thoughts.

It requires you to be really aware of what you are thinking and then purposely replacing those thoughts with new ones. It sounds tougher than it is, but it’s actually really simple.

Try it out for this week and I guarantee it will alter how people see you, respond to you and talk to you.  Not just for dating and attraction but also in your everyday life.

I gotta go pack up because I’m leaving Canada and heading to Chicago next!

Let me know how the re-framing goes and if you need a little help on how to re-frame or understanding what needs to be re-framed then you can get that information here:


Or sign up for a coaching session with me here:

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