Online Dating Tip: How Select Your Profile Picture

We all know that when women are “window shopping” on online dating sites, the pictures are super important. Call it superficial or call it bitchy if you want but I call it reality. The picture is the first thing we all look at when we are checking out a profile. So you gotta make sure you are selecting the proper pictures.

I am about to give you a great online dating tip for selecting a profile picture. This online dating tip came to me from one of my newsletter members, who I will refer to as X.

X, told me about a recent study, done by Okcupid, which discovered that women are more attracted to men who look away from the camera in their profiles pics. I had never really given much thought to the position of a mans face in a picture, but after thinking about it, the study made complete sense. I have cut and paste my email correspondence with X below that includes links to the study, X’s results from his own private study, and my female commentary.

Email from X

Hi Marni,

I wanted to tell you about an online dating experience I had which was incredibly fascinating…

For a number of years I’ve been doing the online dating thing. I’ve had profiles on Match, Okcupid, Jdate, etc. In every one of these profiles, I posted photos with me looking directly at the camera. After reading about a study done by Okcupid, which talked about how women are more attracted to men who look away from the camera (something about being more mysterious), I thought I’d give it a try.

Within two days of posting my looking-away photo on Okcupid (attached), I received 22 new visits to my profile. For many women, this is probably typical. For your average guy, not so much! I was amazed at how a simple little profile tweak could make such an enormous difference. I continue to receive many more profile visits than I received previously.

There’s some very useful info here…they’ve studied thousands of profiles:

I hope you find this useful.



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X attached a picture of himself looking away from camera which I have included here. My initial response when I saw this picture was, that guy is super cute, I would date him.

Here was my response to X.

My Response:

X, this is fascinating. Thank you so much for sending this to me. Before I make my comments, I would love to see your old pictures so I can compare. Can you send me your old pic? To be honest, in this pic you look super cute and attractive. I can see why you got hits on your profile.

Can I post this on my site? It would be very helpful to other guys to see.



X’s Response:

Thanks Marni! I’m attaching 3 of my older pics (pasted below). Feel free to use on the site. Glad you found the info useful.

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My Response:

First off, I want to say that you are still very cute in these pics BUT there is something kind of sad about these 3 photos. I can totally understand why women are giving you more attention with the new picture. It’s way more eye catching and really paints a picture of a moment with you. These 3 photos look forced, cheesy and to honest, not so attractive. The other picture makes me want to know more about you.

I think the reason looking off gets more attention because it feels like you are not trying as hard. Translation =’s I do not need your approval. It’s feel more real and comfortable. Face on, is literally in your face. It screams “look at me!!! Pick me, pick me!!!”. Looking away is more subtle and not as aggressive. It makes it less obvious that you are participating in dating online.

Thank you so much for sending these pics and allowing me to use them on my site. I know this example is a great online dating tip that other men can use.


X’s Response:

Thanks so much for your feedback. I think you hit the nail on the head about not trying as hard. This would be a great service you could offer….profile photo critiques! I just can’t believe I’ve been using these other photos for so many years. These dating sites (some of them) are a money pit – and look at how much money I could have saved by using a better photo. No regrets, but I see a lot of value in photo (and profile) feedback.


My Response:

X, that is amazing idea. I know that many other men need that female eye to tell them if their pictures are working for them or against them. I will definitely make that service available to other men.

Again, thank you for letting me share this with others. Keep me posted with your online dating success 🙂



The point of the profile picture is meant to give women a snapshot into your life. Not to show you in numerous uncomfortable and forced positions. I hate when people have professional head-shots. Are you auditioning for a film or looking for a date??

To help you out, I have put together a list of 6 Rules for selecting your online dating pictures. These Rules are based on my own online dating experience as well as feedback from 20 other women.

Rules For Selecting Pictures:

  1. Don’t have too many pics of you by yourself smiling
  2. Have a friend take your picture. Pictures of guys holding the camera on an angle to take a shot just looks stupid. All women will see is a loser, with big nostrils.
  3. Include a mix of pictures. The picture section is for providing a snap shot into your life. A couple with you and friends, a couple of you doing an activity, one with a pet if you have one.
  4. Have 5-7 pictures max. You really do not need more than 5 pictures of you. 5-7 is okay, but 7+ is overkill.
  5. Choose pictures where you look good. You obviously want to show your best self, just make sure that the pics aren’t from 1984.
  6. Test different pictures and do your own study. Select a profile picture and post for 1 week. Reach out to 20 women and see what results you get. Then do it again, with a different picture for 4 more weeks. At the end you will have real results.

I guarantee that if follow these rules, you will instantly notice a difference in your online dating results.

Want a pair of experienced female eyes to critique and edit your online dating pictures?

Click Here to sign up and have your profile pictures analyzed within 48 hours.

I’ll tell you what pictures to keep, which ones to eliminate and do a scan of your profile to let you know if it’s attractive to women.

Click here to sign up now!

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