Toxic relationships have been a huge topic of discussion lately. I believe so many of us have battled with toxic relationships throughout our lives, possibly without even knowing it. So I called in the big guns to help out ;). Robert Faulkner, a family and child psychologist.
If you have dealt with toxic relationships in the past, romantic or otherwise, his tips and tools that he lists below will help you immensely.
Take it away Robert 😉
Getting out of toxic relationships isn't easy, but it isn't impossible. The hardest part, however, is getting over the negativity carried over from such relationships. That is why you need these affirmations to rebuild your self-esteem and self-worth.
So, your friends finally got you to check out one of the best dating sites review. And they were right; you've found your match in almost no time. But there's one caveat you have to face: you're dealing with the remnants of previous toxic relationships.
Should you give up on the possibility that this might be your best relationship yet? We think not. Yes, toxic relationships are hard to deal with, cause pain, and take away your self-esteem and the ability to see yourself as a vital member of society.
Toxic, manipulative relationships break you down into shreds. And while ending toxic relationships is ideal, we often forget that recovery may be more challenging than grieving for a ‘normal' relationship. It isn't easy to build yourself up if you've been in one.
You have to heal from all the negative traits, words, and actions you've suffered. And let's not forget that letting go of toxic relationships means you have to deal with the pain of accepting you've lost relation with someone you thought loved you.
Healing from toxic relationships then means mustering all your strength in a bid to move on and give love another chance. And that's okay. So today, we'll look at one of the ways you can recover from the betrayal, pain, and negativity of toxic relationships: positive affirmations.
What Are Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations are simple but strong declarations or phrases you speak out loud as many times as you can. When you do, they help you rewire your brain and create positive change in your life, help you heal.
That is why they are perfect for dealing with your emotions after ending toxic relationships. What these affirmations do is that they serve as reminders of the inner strength you possess to help you live a peaceful and fulfilling life.
For instance, it is not uncommon for many people to forget their worth and lose themselves after being in a series of toxic relationships. Frequently, this results in entertaining thoughts of criticism or self-shaming that puts one in a defeatist mentality.
Additionally, dealing with partners with toxic traits in relationships is energy-draining. But, when you tap into the power in your thought, you can hinder the toxic relationships psychology you are used to and instead replace it with positive thinking to boost your healing ability.
Now you might wonder, can positive affirmations do that for me? Yes, they can help you recover from toxic relationships and then some. Here are 5 affirmations you can use to help you recover from different types of toxic relationships.
Affirmations To Help You Recover From Toxic Relationships
1. The Past Is Behind Me. I Will Focus On The Present And The Future
If you've been a victim of toxic relationships, you might find yourself dwelling and thinking about the past. This can frequently happen, so don't beat yourself up over it if it happens. However, dwelling on your past and the events your partner made you endure is like an anchor to a boat. Thoughts of toxic relationships prevent you from moving on with your life.
The first part of the affirmation reminds you that you no longer have to dwell in toxic relationships: the past is behind me. It's a reminder that what happened in the past has to stay in the past and that you should lock that door to heal. It also helps you acknowledge how strong you are for recognizing the toxic relationships signs and leaving when you did.
The second part of the affirmation reminds you that you have so much more to look forward to: I will focus on the present and the future. Whenever you find yourself thinking about your past in toxic relationships, remind yourself to let go of the past. You will have to be intentional and persistent about shifting your thoughts to something more positive whenever you slip back. You can achieve this by practicing self-forgiveness and determination.
2. I Am Healing. I Will Get To Where I Need To Be
Can toxic relationships be healed? Yes, they can. However, healing is a process, and you have to remind yourself that as much as you may wish for it, healing doesn't come suddenly. How fast you get over toxic relationships depends on how long you've been in one.
Healing can take months or years for you to wrap your head around your experience entirely. Keep in mind that the road to cutting cords to toxic relationships isn't always a straight path. There are times you will take two steps forward and then go back to right where you started.
Try and remember that every step you take is a learning opportunity. Just because you went two steps back doesn't mean you should give up on trying to heal from toxic relationships. If anything, use the lessons you learn when you are at your lowest to propel you forward.
3. Self-Care Is A Priority
When you've been in toxic relationships for a lengthy period, you get used to giving up your needs so you can put your partner first. Unfortunately, you might have gotten too used to this habit that you take it with you after the end of toxic relationships.
You have to remind yourself that you have needs too and need to take care of them. Don't feel guilty about putting yourself and your needs before others. You have to learn how to take care of yourself.
Besides, you will find it much easier to take care of others or love them once you've learned how to care for yourself and your needs.
4. I Am Loveable. I Deserve Care, Affection, And Respect
You have to understand the psychology of toxic relationships to heal because toxic relationships will erode your self-worth. Don’t be surprised if you discover that you believe you aren't loveable or deserving of care.
What you have to remind yourself is that this couldn't be further from the truth. The minute you break free of toxic relationships, start to rediscover your self-worth and build your self-esteem.
Everyone deserves and is worthy of affection, respect, and care, and that includes you too. So even though a narcissist in a toxic relationship did not make you feel loved, it doesn't mean you are not deserving of love, care, affection, and respect.
Just because a partner denied you these affirmations doesn't mean you accept that you aren't worthy of them. It's time to remember how they feel. So repeat this affirmation to remind yourself that you deserve every single declaration.
You deserve consideration, kindness, affection, respect, and care.
5. I Have Firm Boundaries, And I Will Stick To Them
When cutting chords to toxic relationships, it's common for previous narcissistic partners to try and get back into your life. Keep in mind that they were feeding off the relationship, and even if it doesn't happen immediately after you've left such toxic relationships, they will eventually try to snake in.
Creating personal and mental boundaries is essential so you can prevent such partners from trying to get back into your life. You can strengthen your mind against the advances of such partners by repeating these affirmations frequently.
This way, you remind yourself what you will or will not accept from a previous partner. This is a vital step in your recovery that you shouldn't ignore.
There are many examples of toxic relationships. And, when you're struggling to get over one, the affirmations above will remind you that you have the strength to move on from the past. Please tell us if affirmations are part of your healing process, especially if you have suffered toxic relationships before. We'd also appreciate it if you shared some of your affirmations with us.
Robert Faulkner is a family and child psychologist. He has been working with couples of different ages and wants to share his thoughts about relationships with you. Robert’s hobby is traveling inside the UK and abroad. He has visited more than 15 countries, including the USA, Spain, France, the Netherlands, etc. One of Robert's biggest dreams is to take a photo on the top of Everest.