When Should You Approach A Woman? Marni’s Mailbag


I’ve been getting floods of emails from guys who’ve been asking GREAT questions that I think you’d love to hear for yourself. And it seems I get the most over the weekend come Monday lol…

Sooooo…. I decided to send you the best questions and success stories every Monday and call it “Marni’s Mailbag” 🙂

They’re too good to not share with you… so take a  gander, see what applies to you, and let me know how else I can help!



 “When Should A Guy Approach A Woman?”


Late last night, I went grocery shopping and saw this woman that I was extremely attracted to.

She was wearing biking gear and had a bike in the back of her truck. I think this intimidated me a little because I did not approach her. Reason being, I really thought I would be bothering her.  I do this all the time and want to stop wasting great opportunities.

So my question to you is, when can I approach a woman?


My Response:


The short answer to your question is ALWAYS. If you see a woman you want, approach her. Delay or linger and you can easily become the creepy guy seemingly gawking from behind the Doritos display.

It sounds like there is a lot of pressure on your approaches and you may be thinking large picture instead of small picture.

Large Picture: I’m going to approach this girl, she is going to be attracted to me, I’m going to get her number, we are going to date, have sex… The whole shebang.

That’s a lot to put on an approach.  Try drilling it back a little to a smaller picture.

Small picture (or intentions) are more realistic.  Plus, they are far less emotionally charged which makes them easier to accomplish.

Small Picture: That girl is cute, I want to talk to her and see if I like her.

Having the small picture in mind before any approaches will make it a lot easier on you. If you don’t attach a large picture outcome to your actions, then you will not feel as much pressure to succeed.

So, again, start off small!

And once you’re ready and you’ve got all the basics  down, THEN you can take your game a step further by really developing into the type of guy that can open up with a woman, fully engage her into a deeply flirtatious conversation, and illicit intense attraction from her on a genuine (and even sexual) level.

So please do not fall victim.  Approach every woman that peaks your interest at this point and decide what category you want to put her in after you have some facts to base it on 🙂



“You are the Tony Robbins of dating”

Recently, I bought both of your products: How to Become the Man Woman Want and What’s Inside a Woman’s Mind.

They are hot as fire, Marni.

I learned so much about how to connect with a woman that I felt empowered as if I had gone through a Tony Robbins event. In fact I’d say you ARE the Tony Robbins of dating!

All I can say is that I learned so much that my confidence has soared to the Alpha Level.

With this knowledge, I am able to approach confidently to a woman and create a meaningful relationship that can lead to marriage.

Thank you, Marni!


My Response:


You know I can’t believe I never saw myself as Tony Robbins… I mean we look almost IDENTICAL to each other! 😉

I’m kidding.  I’m so glad you were able to gain the confidence and charisma to be able to approach women and become a man who can create a meaningful relationship.

Your success is my success so please keep me in the loop and once again, it was an honor to have helped 🙂



“How Can I Tell She Likes Me?”

There is a girl at the place I work. Every time our eyes meet, she blushes. She has winked at me and she has checked me out. She has also looked at me when I enter the room. At the end of the day I say bye and she responds but she does not initiate anything.

A) What is she doing?

B) What can I do?



My Response:


Answer to B: YOU CAN ASK HER OUT!!!!!

Answer to A:  She is living her life and being friendly to a co-worker.

From the actions you describe, it sounds like you may be creating this “connection’ in your head.  There is no indication that she is into you BUT there is also no indication that she is not into you.  See what I am saying?

If you are waiting for her to pounce on you it’s not going to happen.  If you want something YOU have to go for it.  Especially when it comes to women.  Women, even successful women in business, still want to be feminine. They typically do not take the initiative to make the aggressive first move.

Subtle signs like winking or smiling could be saying to you “ask me out fool”.  They could also be saying “I have something in my eye.”.  It’s up to you to find out more.  Right now you are playing it safe with her. You are taking little steps to “test” if she likes you but in reality you are actually just protecting yourself.

But protecting yourself and staying in the safe zone will almost never result in getting what you want.

There are actually SO MANY things that go on in woman’s mind when she’s into a guy… and yet there are so many things that us girls will NEVER say!

So imagine how things would be for you, if you knew exactly what was going on in her head… and EXACTLY what to say and do in order to have her gazing at you like you are the ONLY man for her.

See most guys actually get it wrong… they compliment her in ways that come off as offensive, touch her in ways that get her creeped out, and text her in a way that seems needy and unattractive.

And I don’t EVER want that to happen to you!

So I put together a full arsenal of goodies that’ll show you how to get her giggling and blushing at your touch, daydreaming about you while you’re away, and even fighting herself to not text you because she desperately wants to hear from you already (yes this is how us girls act when we’re REALLY into a guy!)

Get started on finding out all the secret ways to talk and touch to get her gushing to all her friends about you

I call it “[What’s Inside A Woman’s Mind]” and I give you JUST THAT: everything you need to know about what we think… and more importantly… what we WANT when it comes to the perfect man.

Not only are you gonna the entire female perspective on our ideal date and dude… you’re now gonna have the confidence to NEVER miss out on a girl you really like (especially your co-worker!)

Take action now and find out what most men will never know about attracting any woman they want

As the famous Wayne Gretzky says, “You miss 100% of the shots you never take.” So start taking shots 😉


P.S. – Women can be very hard to read, especially in the workplace.  There’re so many things we never say to begin with… so imagine all the things she won’t say to you at work (or all the FEELINGS she actually does have for you).

Find out exactly what’s going on in her mind and how you can use that to get her tonight!

Once you discover exactly what’s going on in her mind, you’ll have everything you need to win over her heart… no matter WHERE you are 🙂

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  • good to know about it, but not easy to put in practice, expecially if you have never done it in your whole (and long) life

  • Pingback: When Should You Approach A Woman? Marni’s Mailbag « PUA Central()

  • skw

    “At the end of the day I say bye and she responds but she does not initiate anything.”

    She should initiate, she initiates at work doesn’t she, she wants to be treated as an equal at work? Why should this be any different ?

  • NaturallyNate

    There’s this girl From my Intro to Theater classes last fall and Intro to Theater II
    in university… While in class together, I virtually ignored her, not because I am a jerk, but because at the time I first met her, I wa in what seemed like a decent relationship- which has since ended when I found out I was just an aside for her, as she had another boyfriend. That was a great gift finding that out on Christmas Eve…

    Anyways, the girl from drama class. Classes are over until fall now. At work today, she came in, looking for particular products, and- whoa! She blew me out of the water! She is really attractive. At the till, I asked her how her summer was, and we established some casual banter as I helped her check out. She told me she moved into a new house. I asked how she gets along with her new roommates. She asked me if I was going to be in Character Study I. I said I won’t be ( but now I’m thinking I will have to see if I can get in to that class! )

    All went well until at the end. I was planning to ask her what she was doing this weekend. I have Fri-Sun off from work. Prime time to ask a sweet lady on a date, because I’m available anytime, no work getting in the way. Instead of asking her out,

  • NaturallyNate

    I squeaked out, “I hope You have a great summer- I hope I’ll see you again!”
    She smirked and replied, “Yeah, I’m sure you will”. I felt so moronic! I didn’t get her info, so I have now way of reaching her. I have seen her at the store I work at before, but infrequently. Other than at the store /school, I never see her.

    Marni, other wisewomen, my fellow men, have I screwed up beyond the point of redemption? Did I lose the only chance I may ever have with this girl? (Especially if I cannot get into that class next semester!)

    How do I establish rapport with a woman I only ever see in social situations where it is awkward to ask her out? It feels weird to consider asking her out while I’m at work, and definitely weird to do so in a class setting. What should I do/consider doing to find myself in a situation where I can ask her out? Or what do I need to change about my perceptions of self/others to successfully endeavour to win the hand of this fair maiden?

  • Mike

    Naturally Nate…Here is the thing, you made a mistake, you forgot to get contact info, but it sounded like she liked you. There is redemption, perhaps not with her, unless you see her again. But with future women because you will remember this incident, and when you connect with another women, you will close her. Yea, I feel your disappointment but I also think you have a great future ahead, so get out there and talk to women!

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