Picture this scenario:
You meet a cute woman, hit it off, swap numbers and agree to go out sometime.
But after you text her she seems to disappear off the face of the earth… never to be heard from again.
This is one of the most common complaints I hear from guys.
They want to know why women are so hot and cold. Why they don’t even bother to text back after appearing interested.
Well, let me give you the female perspective of how this scenario plays out for us.
We meet a guy. He seems cool. We’re interested enough to give him our number and meet up with him sometime.
And that’s how we genuinely feel… in THAT moment.
But then we get back to our lives and everything we’ve got going on.
By the time we get a text from you any number of things could’ve happened to change our feelings.
That’s why you need to view us giving you our number for what it is: an avenue to get in touch with us again, not a binding contract that obligates us to go on a date with you.
Which means that first text message you send is all-important.
It needs to be engaging and remind us why we liked you enough to give you our number in the first place.
So, let’s talk about HOW you achieve this… and just as importantly, the mistakes you want to avoid.
And by far the biggest mistake men make is sending boring, lazy messages…. we women do it as well… but right now I’m talking to you not them 😉
A lot of men send things like
“how r u?”
“wot u doin?”
Aside from the appalling spelling (do you really want her to think a 13-year-old girl is texting her?), these types of texts are incredibly dull.
They don’t make us FEEL anything.
Instead, they’re easily forgotten… and often deleted!
Remember: just because we liked you when we met, doesn’t mean we’ll feel the same way 2 days – or even 2 hours – later.
The second biggest mistake I see is when guys go straight for the kill.
Trying to arrange a date (or even worse, sex) in the first text is a big no-no.
It’s much better to focus on engaging her emotionally and then asking her out once the conversation is flowing.
For that reason you should eliminate first texts like these from your arsenal:
“Wanna meet tonight?”
“Hey you up for a drink tomorrow?”
“Netflix and chill later?”
Even if you met in a bar or a club and were making out heavily, you can’t just pick up from where you left off and be overly sexual. Have some class and respect and your chances of getting her back to your place improve dramatically.
Now, let’s take a look at the right way to do things… using three basic techniques that work almost like magic.
#1: Callback Humor
There’s a reason most women list a sense of humor as the top quality they want in a man.
Laughing releases a bunch of feel-good endorphins that help trigger feelings of attraction and comfort for a guy.
So if you can tickle our funny bone with your first text… there’s a good chance we’ll let you tickle us in other places later on.
And the best way to do this is by what’s known as callback humor.
You’ll see standup comedians use this a lot. They’ll make a joke about something and then reference it again later in their set for even bigger laughs.
The way you can use this in your texts is to reference something you shared a laugh over when you first met.
Maybe you were both joking about how clumsy she is. You might text something like, “Was fun meeting you the other night, hope you’ve managed to keep yourself out of the emergency room since then 😉”
Ever since we were little girls and our fathers gave us nicknames, this has a very powerful effect on us.
When a man gives us a unique nickname it makes us feel special… like he sees something in us that he doesn’t in other women.
That means you want to avoid anything cliché here: baby, honey, sweetie etc. Not only are these generic, they’re also too intimate for someone you barely know yet.
Instead, focus on nicknames that are fun and playful… as well as something specifically related to her.
One way you can do this is pinpoint something about her than stands out to you and add a title at the start.
For example, let’s say you’re in New York and meet a girl with a strong Kansas accent. You could simply add ‘Miss’ at the start and call her ‘Miss Kansas’.
Maybe you decide to text: “Howdy Miss Kansas, was a pleasure meeting you and your adorable accent earlier today.”
Or maybe you’re talking to a woman who happens to have a black belt in martial arts. But she’s dressed very classy, and you decide to nickname her ‘Princess Black Belt’ or ‘Princess Ninja’.
It all depends on what you happen to notice about her, and what you want to go with. But using a playful nickname in your first text is an almost guaranteed way to get her smiling and remembering why she likes you.
Want to know the most powerful text message you can send to make a woman insanely attracted to you?
I’ll tell you tomorrow 😉
Ok, I’m kidding… but it DOES demonstrate the power that curiosity has over us.
If you tempt someone with a piece of information that sounds enticing, they’ll have this nagging feeling to hear what it is you have to say.
The key here is that the implied promise of what you’ll reveal is interesting or exciting in some way.
For example, a text message like: “Hey, guess what I just had to eat?” doesn’t really get the curiosity juices flowing.
But something like: “OMG you’ll never believe what just happened to me!” makes you wonder. Did you win the lottery? Get arrested? Start a Twitter war with the President?
Only the most jaded people are likely to resist replying to a text like that.
Now I’m obviously not suggesting you lie or make anything up to justify sending curiosity-provoking texts.
But think about interesting stuff that you see or experience each day and you should have a wealth of ideas to choose from.
You can also create curiosity by talking about her instead of you. For example: “Hey, hope you enjoyed the rest of your night. It wasn’t until I got home that I realized you totally remind me of someone…”
Think she won’t want to know who that person is?
So there you go. Put your thinking cap on and come up with a bunch of ways you can use these 3 techniques to create first texts she can’t ignore.
IF you need more assistance in coming up with great texts to send then check out my friend Greg Greenway’s texting library here:
It’s a done-for-you step by step manual that gets you from taking her number to meet up and attraction as quickly as possible.
FYI: There IS a cost for it but it’s less than a Domino’s pizza!!!! Only $7 and it includes this awesome bonus called The Texting Library. This is the portion of the program that I thought would be most beneficial to you.
So many guys ask me what to say and this library has a ton of options to choose from and tweak to make it your own.
And if you’re not yet getting numbers from women, don’t despair. Your Wing Girl is here with a solution that will help you get as many numbers as you can handle.
It’s called the F-Formula and it’s designed to work with your unique personality. It’ll make flirting with women and attracting them an effortless, everyday activity. Click on the link below for all the details.