What Do I Talk To Women About?
26. Apr, 2009 
14 Comments
What do I talk to women about?
ANYTHING
There is no wrong conversation to have with a woman. Well maybe except how you are a big fan of XXX rated porn. But even that, with the right woman, may be a perfectly normal conversation.
The thing is that you must stop thinking about what SHE wants to talk about. Think about what you want to talk about and go from there. Throughout your life you have had many conversations before right? In fact I am sure most of them have been very successful and even easy! That means you already have the skills you are just freaking out because you THINK that conversation with women needs to be different. It doesn’t!
The only thing you need to be careful of is that you are present in the conversation. That means that you are listening, engaging and present. Not off in never never land, fixating on whether or not she is into you.
One quick tip that I believe every man should know.
There is no right “Thing” to say to a woman. There is however, a right “way” to say it to them.
It’s all about what is behind the statement. I could have 10 men lined up in front of me, saying the exact same Kiss Ass Tried and Tested Pick Up Line. BUT I will feel a different reaction towards each man.
Women want to feel comfort, confidence and strength in character when they are talking to a man.
To warm up your conversation tools, I have a mini assignment for you.
I want you to write down 10 questions which can be anything from “So are you from around here?” to “What was your favorite toy when you were a child?”. Up to you. Then go PRACTICE these questions. Practice at home in front of the mirror, in public with live human beings and on real women. The more you practice and use your conversation tool the easier conversation will come to you. The more you do it the more natural it will feel and the more automatic it will become.
To help others, post some of your questions. This way you can get feedback and also help others who may not be able to come up with questions.
Remember, these questions have to work for you.
Please tell me what you think about this ?
What is the most exciting experience you had?
What makes you happy ?
What colour do you like, and how come?
Thanks for your help…
Justin
Good tips.
I want to reinforce the idea that conversation need not be practiced on dating-pool women alone. Conversation can be practiced wherever you go, be it with a grocery market clerk or people waiting to be seated at a restaurant. Get better at conversations and relationships with all people, and you’ll get better at conversation and relationships with women as a consequence.
I feel, however, that there is such a thing as a wrong conversation (though in technicality it isn’t really a conversation at all). If you suck up to the girl and agree with everything she says (when you don’t really), she’ll be having a conversation with herself.
You’re probably right EasyEC, we need to practise that with every one arround and never say “I’m done” or “now I’m good” cuzz communicating is another science that we’ll never reach it’s limits but we can go closer and closer, we gotta practise that with doormen, bums, bartenders, people we meet in social transports, little boys or girls you see in the mall, salespersons, lines or even maybe you approach guys and make new guyfriends. What’s gonna happen, you’re the man and no one can harm you so talk to people arround, Women can’t do this all the time cuzz they may get harmed, get robbed or whatever who knows. So you’re in control you’re the ultimate grown up man that have been out comunicating to people POSITIVELY all the time. So again you leed (just make sure you don’t talk about your fight with your dad, or that guy who was killed yesterday and you saw all his red blood, don’t talk about computers and mainframes those are mainiac stuff.) instead talk about positive funny stuff and for god’s sake bust her balls.
Ok so some cute stuff you can do with her: like when you meet her in a bar or Disco and talk for about 5 minutes you can tell her to play a game with you and all your friends could participate. tell here that you’ll walk away as you don’t know here and that you’ll be at the bar or arround the men’sroom (you know any place) and now her job is to approach you and challenge her, she has to find a good pickup line to use on you, other wise you’ll reject her, send her back and she’ll have to try again, you’ll be amazed by their pickup lines.(hey I like your masculine power and I thought I could buy you a drink) well let her buy you a drink play with all her female friends too. I’m sure if you setdown and think about other ideas you’ll find some. post’em over here I’ll steal them for you
Ooops there was some spelling mistakes in my last comment, try to fix them cuzz I couldn’t delete and repost, see ya soon
OPEN ENDED QUESTIONS:
Here are some questions I’ve enjoyed connecting with women on. Some are first date and some are second. You’ll figure it out . . .
Death topics to avoid: work, what do you do? where do you live? what kind of car do you drive? pets? do you want kids? what are you views on religion? politics?
Only ever engage in these topics if you have a way of making fun of their answers.
Spend time before your date thinking through the dates.
1. “So, tell me something that you’re fascinated by . . .” (and then dig deeper) “So, what is it about ______ that fascinates you?” (just going on the ride with her – delve into it. Get curious about that with her. Then tell her). “So, ask me what I’m fascinated by.” (rule is you can‘t spend more than 5 minutes on any topic).
2. “what’s the most important thing you’ve ever lost?”
3. “What’s an object or thing you have that you’d most not want to lose? Why?”
4. “Okay – ask me this question, ‘Okay – you ask me ‘what’s something that I don’t know about you?’’ (you get them to ask you first and then answer first and then you switch)
5. ‘Okay – ask me this question, “Tell me something you think we agree on.” (you get them to ask you first and then answer first and then you switch)
6. “Okay – ask me this question, ‘Tell me something that you like about me.’” (you get them to ask you first and then answer first and then you switch)
7. “When you were a little girl – and you were old enough that who you were – your personality – was totally there – but you were still maybe a little too young to know better – maybe 5-8, what was something you did that your family would you later say was ‘so you’ to do?” (then you can explore how those themes are still alive in her life. Appreciate it. Help her articulate it.)
8. “What are you most proud of in the last year?”
9. “So, what did you want to be when you were seven? Why?”
10. “So . . . What’s your story?”
11. “What’s an embarrassing story? Everyone tries to be so cool . . .”
12. “here’s a game. It’s a simple game. There’s two parts. The first part is the question – “What do you really think of yourself? I go first.” (then share really honestly about yourself. Set the tone for the level of depth and integrity you can reach.) “Okay – the second part is this – do you want to know what my experience of you is – what I’m noticing about you is?” (and share – then ask her to share her experience of you)
13. (after doing a magic trick) “So if a real magician came along and could magically do one thing to you – give you one ability – not a super power – just an ability – what would it be?”
14. “what’s the most profound moment you’ve had . . . smoking weed.”
15. “do you listen to music when you smoke weed? what kind?”
16. “What do you want to be when you grow up – and don’t say Princess.”
17. “so tell me, what are you three best qualities?”
18. “what did you think of high school?”
19. “Can you remember the first guy you had a crush on?”
20. “how old were you when you first got drunk?”
21. “did you and your siblings keep secrets?”
22. “ever had a rough break up? What do you wish you’d done differently? What did you learn?”
23. “What’s your favorite place in nature to visit?”
24. “If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?”
25. “So, what do you do for a living? . . . You can make up an interesting lie if you want.”
26. “What’s your first impression of _________?” (ask them to comment on something you’re wearing)
27. “So, what kind of art do you make?” “What makes you think I’m an artist?” “I don’t know. Something about your vibe. I could be wrong . . .”
28. “What kinds of recurring dreams have you had?”
29. “Do you know anything about dream analysis? Maybe you can help me out with one I had . . . “ (just make up some crazy shit with mildly sexual innuendo)
30. “If you were to go to a deserted island and you could only bring either a notebook and paper or a musical instrument – which would you choose?”
31. “If you could have any superpower – what would it be?”
32. “If money was no object and you could be doing anything – what would you be doing?” (once they answer) “So, why aren’t you doing that?”
33. “what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever had sex?”
34. “What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you on a date?”
35. “What hobbies do you have that really get your blood going and make you tingle?”
36. “If you had to be transformed into any animal, what would it be and why?”
37. “What do you think are the three best qualities you have to offer to a man in a relationship?”
38. What are your three biggest turn ons and your three biggest turn offs in relationships?”
39. What is one thing that would make this evening memorable for you?
40. Which of your high school teachers did you have a mad crush on?
41. How do you imagine the ideal romantic situation?
42. Who is the person that had influenced you the most?
43. When was the last time you’ve found something so hilarious you couldn’t suppress laughter in public?
44. Where in the would do you dream of going?
45. “What’s your story?”
46. “So what have you done today?”
47. “I have no idea how to do that. Teach me.”
48. “How did you learn that?”
49. “what’s the worst prank you ever pulled on someone?”
What color panties are you wearing?
Can we have sex now?
Great question list, Tad.
I remember one date I had with a woman last year. She was a Born-Again Christian–I found that out in our first emails back and forth (we met in the supermarket and exchanged emails). She is very nice and sweet, but as I didn’t share her religious and spiritual beliefs, we both knew it wouldn’t lead to anything. But she did one really cool thing. The first 15 minutes of the date were the usual ‘facts-based’ small-talk–where are you from, what is your job like, and so on. But then she asked me one really awesome question:
“So, tell me 5 *random* things about you.”
I had no idea if she thought up that question herself, or if she heard about it from her girlfriends. I didn’t care, because for some reason, I really appreciated her asking that though. Changed the energy of the entire date for the better.
Tad,
This is a great list.
Thanks for posting!
Karl
Yea that is a great way to talk to women!
There is no better advice than to just be yourself but learn to be a natural, confident and fearless you. “The Game” is BS. Confidence is everything.
These are pretty good questions but may be best used when you are trying to get to know someone better like on a second date. If you were at a club I would suggest not tossing out “what makes you happy” but it would probably work on a second date.
I like the “what color do you like?”. I think it’s cute but could cause an issue because it only requires a one word answer.
As an experiment try going up to ten people and ask the color question. See what kind of responses you get from people.
I actually tend to agree with ash. Think about where we first saw Javier. In no country for old men. He was definitely not attractive in that movie yet women were still drawn to him.
Everyone else is making the exact point I was trying to make initially. Women are attracted and turned on through their emotions not through their eyes. A man who is not attractive can suddenly become the only man in the room if he has the right energy.
Brad, the fact that you are so set in your ways and stubborn towards what women want may be the exact reason they are not attracted to you. Anger towards women is the first thing a woman can smell and it doesn’t smell nice.
These are awesome. Thanks Tad