I came across a pretty disturbing article that said, “A note to single dudes: If you're looking to pick up a woman at a bar, whatever you do — don't smile at her”.
This article is based on a new University of British Columbia study, published online to the Journal Emotion. Basically their findings have said the Women are actually less sexually attracted to smiley, happy men.
So before anybody starts taking this study and the directions posted in the article by Melissa Dahl too seriously, I wanted to add in my thoughts.
First – this study is totally correct. Women do not like men who smile. But not in way that you are thinking.
When I see a man who is out with his friends, enjoying life, relaxed in his own world and smiling, I think “he's sexy. Totally want to get to know him”.
But when I am with a man I just met and he's beaming from ear to ear with a big smile on his face I think, “He's nervous, he's fake, this is making me uncomfortable, why is he so smiley, he's super needy, I want to go home”. And about 100 other variations of the same thought all equivalent to Not Attracted To Him.
You have to remember that women are scanners and evaluate people (men) on many different levels. This evaluation is usually subconscious. It's not done out of bitchiness. It's done as a form of protection against inconsistent, incongruent and harmful men.
So for women, a smiling man is attractive, as long as he has a valid reason for smiling. If there is no apparent reason, a reg flag goes up, followed by an emotional reaction that leads to distrust and drop in attraction.
Second – This study was conducted on women's responses to pictures of men. Not moving images of men either live or in video. Which provided very similar results discovered by the Okcupid study that said profile pictures of men looking off camera were more attractive to women. Click Here to see study.
A man in a picture, who is looking away from camera is interesting. What is he looking at? Who is he looking at? and why is he not focused on me? That's what women are thinking. And that's why both the University and OKcupid.com, drew similar results from their study's.
Third – Don't let these study results stop you from smiling. Women love a man that smiles! But it's a certain type of smile that totally gets us every time.
For me, I love when guys smirk at me. I find it so sexy and mysterious. It says to me “I'm awesome and have it together” but in a non-arrogant way.
So how can you become more comfortable with smiling? A real smile that doesn't seem forced or fake and that women won't view as insincere and unattractive?
You practice and research!
How To Practice & Research So You Can Develop The Perfect Smile
– Make a video of you smiling in several different ways and watch it. What do you think? Does it seem insincere?
– Go grab a few men's magazines and study the pictures of the guys smiling. And try a few of the smiles out yourself. You can even ask girls for their opinions on which smile they find more attractive in the pictures.
– Sit in front of the mirror and smile. Try out different ways of smiling and figure out which one feels the most natural and looks the most attractive to you.
– SURVEY TIME – go ask people around you. They can be friends, family, strangers. Ask their opinions on your smile. Ask what they feel when they see you smile. You can have them judge your different smiles.
– Own the smile and continue practicing it every night. Each time you brush your teeth, smile at yourself.
I guarantee this 1 small change will alter more than just the way you smile. It will alter the way you carry yourself and the way that women view you.
Want more little tweaks and exercises you can do right now to increase your attractiveness to women? Work with me one-on-one and I'll tell you everything you need to know. Click Here for more info.