What women want when it comes to calling, texting and communication. Read on to find out…
Today, it is harder to find someone without a cell phone than it is to hunt for sharks on land. They have become our lifelines, our connection to the world. While the advancements in technology have had many benefits, they have also created new fears and social definitions when it comes to traditional communication. Lately, it seems that cell phones have squashed many social graces and created a new way for people to communicate.
When it comes to meeting and dating members of the opposite sex, however, some elements of tradition should be maintained. The myth exists that women want extravagance and luxury, but you will be surprised to find how far you can go with a little respect and chivalrous behavior. The woman of today has focused on her career, and as a result, can often support herself financially. The last things she wants is a man to spoil her and make her feel like an item that can be bought off of a shelf; however, the woman of today does want to feel like a lady. A great place to start treating a woman like a lady pertains to the phone.
Now, this is not going to be a how-to that guides you from the start. This is assuming you have already approached and struck up a conversation with someone you are interested in. Maybe you met her at a bar, or coffee shop or even the park. Pay attention to her body language and look for signs that she is interested…
Is she smiling a lot?
When she makes eye contact, does she hold her head down and look up at you?
Has she playfully and lightly touched your arm?
Finally and most importantly, does she seem reluctant to end the conversation when it is clearly time to leave?
If you are interested in her and if she is displaying these behaviors, which tend to come naturally when one person is attracted to another, you may ask her for her phone number. This is when the “Cell Phone Dating Rules” begin.
The initial meeting…
Do: Call her phone immediately
Since practically everyone has a cell phone nowadays, the most obvious way to take down a phone number is to enter it straight into your phone. Assuming this is the case, it is always a good idea to call her phone so that she has your number as well. This tells the woman you are interested in that you do intend to call and you want her to be able to recognize your number when you do. Do this in front of her and tell her you're doing it. This also serves another purpose: if you have misread her signs and she has given you a fake number, you will know immediately.
Don't: Call her the night you meet her
This is assuming you have met the woman in a bar or somewhere else that you did not leave until late at night. Unless you are looking for a purely physical relationship, do not call her the night you meet her. Calling late night says one of two things: one, you are just interested in hooking up and you want to do so before your buzz wears off and your judgment returns or two, you are desperate.
For you movie buffs, think about the scene in Swingers when Jon Favreau's character meets a girl in a bar and upon returning home, proceeds to call her repeatedly until she finally answers. When she does answer, she demands that he never calls her again. So quickly, Favreau's character goes from “nice guy” to “psycho.” Don't be that guy.
Setting up a date…
Do: Actually call her 2-3 days after the initial meeting
Now that you have managed to refrain from calling her immediately, you can safely call her 2-3 days after your initial meeting to set up a date. When you call the first time, actually use the phone to call her. You are trying to make a good impression; do not send an email or text message. This is when tradition comes into play. With the advancements in technology came a sudden acceptance of text messages and emails as forms of communication. However, if you would like to stand out from the rest of the immature co-eds, use the phone and make the call. Women appreciate this more than you would expect.
For instance, I have a friend who recently met a guy in our hometown while we were out at a local bar. Since we are from a small town, our friends already knew the guy and warned her that he was a loser. She listened to their warnings and debated whether to heed them or not. However, a few days later, while we were talking, she said, “He may be a loser, but he actually called me. He did not text, he called.” She ignored the warnings and went out
with him anyway. A few days later, when he called her again, she went out with him again. The phone call was all it took for her to give him a chance.
Don't: Call more than once
This goes back to that idea of being too desperate. The girl you met may screen your call to see if you are calling just to call, or calling to set up a date. Do yourself a favor and leave a message with your reason for calling the first time you call. Do not assume she will return a missed call without a voicemail and do not call back a second time because you did not leave a message the first. As much as we may deny it, dating is a game. There are rules and strategies that should be followed. Make the call, leave a message letting her know that you would like to see her again, then wait for her to get back to you.
While on the date…
Do: Keep your phone out of your date
When you are on a date, the person you are with should be the focus. Keep your phone out of view and on silent. If you constantly have calls, messages and emails coming through, your date will start to assume that she is keeping you from more important things. She may also assume that you have other girls calling (which you may) and decline any further dates.
The only thing worse than the phone ringing during a date is if you actually answer the calls or respond to the messages and emails. Your date wants to feel special. If you cannot dedicate a few hours without a connection to the outside world, why should the girl you're with give up any more of her time for you? Obviously, something like a family emergency is different, but it you are in a situation where you need to respond to work calls, do not schedule a date at that time. Honestly, your date should not even know you have a phone on you.
After the date…
Do: Follow up with a call
After the initial date, and assuming you would like to see the woman again, a follow-up call is always a good idea. While you can get away with an email this time, a phone call makes a better impression. After a first date, both parties often feel insecure and vulnerable. Not only will a follow-up call will allow you to ease the other person's anxiety, it will also give you an idea of how the other person felt about your connection. If it seems like both of you enjoyed yourself, you can also use a follow up call to schedule a second date.
Remember, while women may be intimidating and hard to read at times, there are some simple things you can do to increase your chances of a connection. Don't forget to act like a gentleman and maintain some of the traditions that have withstood the test of time. While women may no longer rely on men to take care of them, they do like to feel special and important.
For more information on proper techniques to use with women and direct instruction on what women want, check out the program What's Inside A Woman's Mind.
In this 5 h our program we reveal to you everything women want, not just how to properly use your cell phone for dating!