Do you use Tinder or any of those other dating apps? Then you have to read the below post written by my cute new 24-year-old Wing Girl Alex. Alex reveals how she uses Tinder AND the mistakes guys make on Tinder that make her swipe left.
What Always Makes Women Swipe Left On Tinder
By: Wing Girl Alex Temblador (25)
So I’m back on Tinder. It’s a love/hate relationship. Love that I have the chance to go on dates, meet some guys, and maybe find a relationship. Hate the profiles that I have to go through and deny because of men’s ridiculous choices with their photo deck and “About Me” section.
I started on Tinder about a year ago in Los Angeles and hated it for so many reasons. It’s not very easy to match with someone; it’s not very easy to get to know someone. Half the time, I chose only guys that were very attractive, and when we matched, I discovered that their looks did not reflect their personality. They were either total douchebags, sex fiends, misogynistic, or just plain weirdos. That part was my fault, and I’ve learned from it.
I took a six-month sabbatical from Tinder and then returned to the app a few weeks ago. And so far, it has sucked. Not because there aren’t any guys to match with. Not because I haven’t changed my own personal perspective on choosing guys (I don’t just choose guys that are Channing Tatum – hot anymore). Rather, the problem I am facing is that I’m swiping left (the action of denying or saying “no” to someone on Tinder) to so many guys because of their profile. Half the time I just want to throw my phone at the wall because the men on Tinder are not making it easy for me to swipe right.
There are certain basic principles that men should follow when using Tinder, basic principles that could get you a match. From my own experiences, I’ve noticed that over half of the men that come up on my Tinder, have set up their Tinder profiles in such horrible ways that I won’t even give them a second look and will swipe left. For all I know, that guy could have been an awesome guy to match with, but because of some very poor Tinder profile choices I don’t have the time or the desire to figure that out.
Tinder isn’t the best dating app for most people. Mostly because it limits a person to photographs and a tiny paragraph to explain who that person is. In plain terms, it’s a dating app with a primary focus on beauty and looks, an aspect that doesn’t help most guys. I’m going to share with you all of the things that will make a woman swipe left on Tinder. Things you SHOULD NOT DO with your Tinder profile, in hopes that you can learn what TO DO to get more matches.
If you follow my advice, I can’t guarantee that you will match with someone you find attractive or interesting on Tinder. However, I’d rather give you a fighting chance, an opportunity against those other men who make stupid Tinder profile mistakes. A chance that just might get you that match, if you’re lucky.
- Obscure photos: I can’t even tell what you look like!
Why is every single one of your photos blurry? Or a picture of you from far away? Or has a bad camera glare? Or is a bunch of photos of you facing away? Or wearing a hat and sunglasses?
If I can’t tell what you look like in over half of your photos, I am swiping left. If your main photo is obscure, I will swipe left 95% of the time.
A nice, clear main photo of you might make a girl pause. If she pauses to take a look at the rest of your photos (which should also be clear), you have a higher chance of her swiping right. So your choice: obscure or not?
- Why is your first photo a quote, a drawing, or a landscape photo? Why is it not of YOU?
I want to see pictures of you. I don’t want a quote you saved from Pinterest or an image of a lovely landscape from your last vacation. Don’t waste my time with those. If you have to include a picture like that, maybe it’s a drawing that you did, or you’re into photography and you want to show off your skills, then include it later on in your photo deck, like your 5th or 6th photo.
- Which one of the five guys in your picture is you?
I hate when guys have like four pictures with them and their friends. I deplore when that picture is your main photo. Why are you making me work to figure out which one in the picture is you? Nobody has time for that. You should have one or two pictures (two pictures if you have six photos up) with you and your friends.
Yes, women do want to know you are socially competent, and you do have friends, but we don’t need to get to know your friends in your Tinder profile. We want to see you! And what if your best friend in your picture is hotter than you… I’m just saying.
- So many women in your pics. Is that your ex? Are you a player?
I think there is some insane misconception that has made its way among men: that women like to see pictures of you and other women on your Tinder profile. I can only come up with one reason why any guy would do this: He wants women to think that other women like him and, therefore, make you jealous or intrigued. Whatever the reason behind this, stop doing it!
I’m almost positive that some of these pictures that men put up are pics with their ex-girlfriends. That’s gross. When I see pictures with a lot of women in your Tinder profile, it is a turn-off.
I don’t want to talk to a player.
I don’t want a guy who hangs out with a lot of girls all the time.
Now I know some men put up pictures with their sister or other female family members, but how do I know that is your sister? Just keep those pictures to a bare minimum, like, zero.
- One picture? Creepy…
Why do you only have one picture of yourself on Tinder? Or two? That’s just creepy. Now you have me wondering if you’re a robot, a catfish, or just some creepy 80-year-old man pretending to be someone he isn’t.
- Mom pics, why?
What is this “mom pic” trend that has caught on? It’s cool that you get along with your mom, but it just makes yourself seem a tiny bit juvenile. All I can think is, “Mama’s Boy,” and how I’m not trying to compete with a mom for her son.
- Few animals other than a dog scream “manly.”
Pictures with you and your dog—that’s sexy. Pictures with your cat… just doesn’t say manly. I hate to say that because all animals are awesome, but there are just some animals that say things other than you are a manly, sociable man. Horses are sexy in a cowboy way and maybe snakes are in an alternative rock star-kind-of-way; but if you can, stick with dogs.
- Why do you look miserable? Lonely? Creepy?
I don’t want to date someone who is miserable in life. Make sure your pictures don’t reflect that. I’ve seen pictures of guys on Tinder who are hunched over in photos with a depressed look on their face.
That’s not attractive. It’s off-putting.
Do you have any pictures of you smiling? Happy? Something beyond creepy, lonely guy who people don’t feel comfortable around?
- The Don’ts of Selfies and Mirror Pictures.
Recently, I was looking through a guy’s Tinder profile, and I couldn’t stop laughing. He had two selfie mirror pictures, and both of those mirror pictures were taken at Walmart. I have nothing against Walmart, but why can’t you take those selfie mirror pics at home?
This brings up selfies. Men don’t take the best selfies. I’m sorry, it’s true. So, if you do post a selfie on Tinder, stop and take a look at it.
Are we looking up your nostrils? Throw it out.
Do your facial features look extremely disproportioned because of the way you held the camera? Throw it out.
Here’s a selfie trick that women do that could be beneficial to you. One side of your face is always slimmer than the other. Look in the mirror and figure it out. When you find out which side is slimmer, tilt you head slightly to the left or right, whichever way will show that side, and take a picture. Full on pictures can look nice, but slightly angular selfies will show off your best side, and remember, Tinder is mostly about looks.
- Abs, abs, abs.
Lots of girls like abs on guys. I like abs on guys. However, I don’t like seeing four pictures of your abs that you took in a mirror. It tells me that you might be too ‘into yourself' and won’t be able to be into me. So limit those ab pictures to one. Maybe two.
- Your pictures give me zero information about you.
Sometimes you can’t say everything about yourself in your “About Me” section. The nice thing with Tinder is that your photographs can show me what you are interested in. I love seeing guys playing sports, on the lake with friends, at a baseball game, etc.
Don’t go overboard with this. If you have four out of six pictures of you with guns, I will probably think you’re some unstable, paranoid, or violent guy and I will swipe left. If you have five pictures of you at the gym, I might assume you’re a meathead whose only hobby is working out (which is just sad). Share your hobbies, just don’t overshare one over the others.
- Lying with your pictures.
My cousin went on her first Tinder date when she was visiting me in Los Angeles. She liked the guy she was chatting with, but she kept asking me,
“Is there something off with his pictures?”
“Do you think he is as tall as the pictures make him seem?”
When she went on the date, she found out he wasn’t. Later we discovered that in one of the pictures, he was standing on a few steps above a girl to make it seem like he was taller, and he cut the photo at the point that would prevent us from figuring that out.
Don’t lie with your photos. That’s not nice.
- Posing with kids.
I don’t have kids. I’m not ready for kids, and I don’t want to be a mother, so when I see Tinder pictures of guys with kids, I usually swipe left. Now, let me go further into this. First, if you have a kid and you want to share that in your pictures and be honest with women about who you are, do it! However, mention that the child in your pictures is your kid in your summary section. There are tons of women who find dads hot, so show that and be proud!
On the other hand, if you are a single guy with no kids, it would be beneficial to women if you did not post pictures of yourself and children. I think most guys think that posing with kids shows women that they could be good dads or that they like kids. Not every woman is looking for that right away. So I would say nix those photographs. If you really want to include a picture with your nephew or niece, write a disclaimer in your summary section, “This is my niece. Isn’t she cute?”
- Connect to IG, please!
If you have an Instagram, connect it to your Tinder profile. It shows a woman a little more about your personality such as what you do with your friends, quotes you find inspiring, and much more. I love when guys have their IG accounts on Tinder because I have a chance to see what we have in common.
- Don’t try to be funny if you’re not.
The summary section on Tinder is the last thing I look at and sometimes it’s the last thing between you and a swipe left or a swipe right.
I’ve noticed men try to be funny in these sections and half the time it doesn’t work. Sometimes, these “funny” things that guys write isn’t funny at all. Sometimes they are goofy, or corny, or turn out as misogynistic statements.
- Why is your summary about me and not you?
Some men have written some interesting things in their “About Me” section. What I find interesting is when they talk about women on Tinder rather than sharing information about themselves, which is what the whole section is meant for!
I’ve seen things like, “Why do I have to message you first?” “Women, stop going for the hot ones,” “I don’t understand y’all,” “Don’t be conceited, ladies,” etc. Why are you speaking to a gender? Why aren’t you just sharing information about yourself?
My advice for the “About Me” section: tell me what you like, what’s your passion, whether you want something serious or not, family, educational background, your profession, where you are from, and what you are looking for in a woman (but always be positive; don’t say, “I just want a girl with tattoos and isn’t bat shit crazy when she drinks”—yeah, I read that yesterday).
Hopefully, those are some helpful tips that you can take and apply to your Tinder profile.
One last thing… A while back I got to wondering how women’s Tinder profiles looked, so I did an experiment. I changed my profile settings to include “interested in women” along with men and then I started exploring. Women have way better Tinder profiles than men. I don’t think I came across one “unattractive” or “weird” or “crazy” looking woman on Tinder. So, I encourage you to change your profiles for just a few minutes and check out how the men of Tinder have set up their profiles (don’t worry, you can change it back later). Perhaps then you might understand why I, and many other women, have been swiping left so much.