Make Men Approach You


From now on when you are out and about or at a bar, a coffee shop, the super market – ANYWHERE – be open. Smile, keep your head up, don’t cross your arms and say hi to everyone.  If you look more approachable, men will approach you.  If you see a guy that you find cute, smile coyly at him and if he doesn’t approach you, approach him and say hi.

I have one cute story to share about my sister in law.  My sister in law is awesome. She’s super cute, totally chatty and an amazing mother.  So naturally her friends want to set her up with any single guy friends they have.  So my sister in law went on a date with a guy that she has met through her friends and met once before. 20 minutes into the date she excused herself from the table and called me from the washroom.  She told me that the guy she was on a date with would not shut up and she was upset because he was so cute but the chatty kathy routine and not letting her talk was turning her off. She asked me what she could do to get him to be quite.

I told her a little secret about men that most women don’t know.  Men get nervous too! And what they do when they get nervous is they try to avoid silences because for them, silences signal bored or not going well.  So I told her to go back to the table and when he starts talking, she can touch his arm gently for 1 – 2 seconds and he will calm down immediately.  My sister in law called me 4 hours later and said “your voodoo magic worked” he calmed down and we had a great time.

Men are not as subtle as us, so the little things we do to signal “I like you” or “I’m having fun” totally go over their head.  Plus, when they are so focused on making you happy they tend to forget on actually connecting. If you can help a brother out and not so subtly signal “I’m here too and I’m having a good time” it will calm him down immediately so that his best side can shine.  Trust me, you’ll get a lot out of man who is calm and confident you are enjoying yourself.

So you can:

1. Touch him

2. Make warm eye contact

3. Use your words to tell him what you think

Easy right!!!  Leave the subtle signals for your girlfriend because men are never going to pick them up!

17 responses to “Make Men Approach You”

  1. Marni,
    I’m a nurse for 23 yrs and have never ever been interested indating any one at work. The physicians that flirt are usually obnoxious or married or both. I am now a single mom and a new group began at the hospital. There’s a physician that every one respects and I truly believe he is single. We talk occasionally about food or small talk. I am really interested in him, but don’t want to upset our professional relationship. I truly can’t tell if he likes a me too but is afraid to cross the line. Wqhat should I do?

  2. The article is great and the following e mails that are sending after we bought the program are awsome because there is some anxiety while reading the book that the following e mails are calming down and encourage to continue reading

  3. This program is so superb! I have learned so much and settled down in all my relationships with men. I’m 52!!! Older girls can still learn new tricks:)
    I’m coming to embrace beautiful me, learn how to talk to men in ways they understand. In essence it’s not so much about me as it is about us. Communication is a two way street, but for heaven sakes, we have to know our audience, and I’m not my own audience. Hope this makes sense! Thanks for everything, it’s making a difference!!!

  4. Yes, that is helpful. Exhibit A. ME. Went to dance club, danced (badly) with awesome sexy guy, got nervous, waved goodbye/thanks like a dork, and went home. Left a girfriend with cute guy. I think I have your right link now, though.

  5. I tried your method… and it worked! OMG! I tried a little advice here and there but today decided to to use all of the advice at once. The little bit here and there was working but I needed to pull it all together. I am a biker and find biker men especially attractive. I went to my favorite biker store to have some new patches sewn on. I belong to a biker organization and a man from another club was having patches sewn on as well. I stood behind him and waited. The seamstress finished placing his patches, he stepped to the side. I placed my cut on the counter and showed her where I needed my patches placed. I felt him looking at me. The seamstress took my cut and went back to her sewing machine. In the biker world, some clubs do not recognize women as their equal, therefore etiquette states “do not speak until spoken to”. Unsure of his club’s rules, I turned to look at him and gave him a coy smile and looked away quickly. I glanced back up at him and he gave me a giant wink. I smiled and he walked right over and started a conversation. Just that simple! Who knew?!? Thank you! You are amazing! Oh, and the touch technique works wonders. I used it on one of the here and there guys, he was talking so much I couldn’t get a word in. After I touched his arm and looked him in the eye, he calmed right down. Just WOW girl!

  6. Marni,
    Thank you for creating a simple & very effective structure for calming men down. I used this on my new-ish boyfriend. He is a doer. Meaning he shows interest by busily “doing” things for me. Wonderful right! Well he can’t slow down because he doesn’t know what to say. Today, I touched his arm & he immediately looked at me fully in the face – he was awaiting with attentiveness. I told him, thank you for everything you do. You are a wonderful man. He stopped working on his project & followed me to the kitchen and held me & kissed me. He ever does this & not during the day. He kissed me long& it was wonderful. He still never “said” much but your advice was powerful. I’m still not sure what I reached out & touched inside of him but even the muscles in his face changed. I’m curious- what happened here?

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
    San Luis Obispo, CA

  7. Great article. I had a first date with a guy who was 55yrs (I am 61). He went early to have a couple of beers which I thought strange until I realized he was NERVOUS!! We had a great time though.

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